(Source: princessnoms, via burgerrr)
Dear journal…October third, 2009.
It has…uh…come t’my attention dat…certain in-da-vidyals out dere have been uhh…trying to sell Quailman merchandise. Let me jus’ say at dis point dere is NO OFFICIAL QUAILMAN MERCHANDISE. Furdermore, QUAILMAN, QUAILDOG, SILVER SKEETER an all da udder characters are copyright ME — DOUGLAS YANCY FUNNY.
Hmm.
Now, TROLLS OUT DERE — I know yer watchin’ me…an’ torchruin’ me jus’ like dat darn Mr. Bone from..uh..from back at middle school. But what yer doin is…what yer doin is wrong. An you know what?
I got yer pichure CLYDE CASH. Sent to me from one-a mah TRUE AND HONEST QUAIL PALS over da internet. An..uh…an uh if you don’ WANT ME TA CALL DA POLICE you better BACK DA FUCK OFF! LEAVE ME ALONE! ME, MAH FAMILY — mah sister Judy, she don’t…she don’t even talk ta mah parents or me no more an’ so just…just leave dem alone, okay? ESPECIALLY MY PREVIOUS SPECIAL GALPALS, or DA COMICS WILL CEASE!
Finally…some special apologies. Patti…Ah’m really sorry…about dat night and I….and I really hope dat maybe you can…lift dat uh…restrainin’ order. I…uh…mmm…I said some things dat..uh…I shouldn’t uh…done…and Ah’m sorry I kept..uh…puttin’ mah arm around you…mmmm…..yeah.
An’ also…da manager of Honker Burger, I am truly sorry fer what Ah sed. Ah’m not a racist in-a-vidyal — one’a my best friends in middle school and also high school was BLUE. BLUE! An’ I’ll never try ta come back behind da counter to da employees area again, I’m sorry, so PLEASE let me come back. PLEASE.
And remember, I’m STRAIGHT. And SINGLE. Ladies! Boyfriend-free ages 18-27 in dah Bluffington area…come seee me IN PERSON if ya want ta..want ta ask me out. Honest. True. Kind. No blue people.
As always, curse da trolls — eberybody else, PEACE and hab a nice day.ahhh, aged like fine old wine.
motherFUCKer
OMFG
(Source: basu-gasu-bakuhatsu)
(via secretlysuffering)
you can’t have your cake and sit on it, too.
(Source: memoryerasingtea, via pixiequrl)
